just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
