Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize