Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
