I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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