i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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