how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize