i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
