AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
