Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
