Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
