I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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