Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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