thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You're like the curious george of whores
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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