I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
organizing the empties. That sober.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
