I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize