And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
