I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
