he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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