Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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