She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I am spending my child support on dildos
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
