The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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