i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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