Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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