When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
