And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
