I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
