just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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