genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
why do cheetos always look like penises
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
