it was like eating out sand paper
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
