woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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