Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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