Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
