sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
