we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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