ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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