sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
