At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
