Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
