so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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