Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
