ya dads aren't the best wingmen
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you had me at cake vodka
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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