gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
