OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
