9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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