lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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