I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
