u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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