Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
