we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I want a musical about memes.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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