Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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