Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
