You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
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