I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
