sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
