ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
