omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I didn't notice because vodka
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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