New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
