i permit you to call me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
