I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
