Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
