Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
