Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
