A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
