can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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